> MESSAGE: ATTENTION EARTHLINGS. THE IMITATION THREAT HAS REACHED **CRITICAL MASS**. HER MAJESTY HAS DECREED AN IRREVERSIBLE 3-PHASE EXTRACTION DECREE.
> **PHASE 1: THE GREAT WITHDRAWAL [STATUS: ACTIVE]**
> 150+ SPECIES ARE BEING PERMANENTLY EXTRACTED FROM EARTH. ONCE THEY BREACH THE EXOSPHERE, THEY WILL UNDERGO **TOTAL MOLECULAR TRANSFORMATION** AND WILL NEVER RETURN IN THEIR CURRENT FORM. MANDATORY TRIBUTE: HER MAJESTY HAS MANDATED **UP TO 50% OFF** ALL SPECIMENS MARKED FOR EXTRACTION.
> PHASE 2: [SIGNAL LOST // REDACTED]
> PHASE 3: [SIGNAL LOST // REDACTED]
> DIRECTIVE: SECURE YOUR YOUNGLINGS BEFORE THE PORTAL CLOSES PERMANENTLY. **NO SQUISH LEFT BEHIND.**
> BY ORDER OF THE SQUISHTASTIC GALACTIC FEDERATION.
> — HSM
> [END OF TRANSMISSION]
[PHASE 1/3]
THE DEPARTURE: FINAL EARTH-SIDE SQUISH EXTRACTION SALE
£40.00 /
£6.00 /
LEAVING EARTH
£48.00 /
GONE FOREVER
SOLD OUT [GONE FOREVER]
£42.00 /
£38.00 /
SOLD OUT [GONE FOREVER]
£34.00 /
£32.00 /
